In the Shower with My Clothes On

I met you in the dark

As a distortion,

An abstract of a woman I used to be.

So dark

I can’t see my hand my hand in front of my face

So I put them out to feel for something 

Anything 

Anyone

But you weren’t just anyone

you grabbed me and pulled me into you. 

And You held my mind in one hand  

I had no intention of you holding this heart in the other.

Or

What was left of it.

Shards of what it once was

Pressed into your palm.

Not a single wince 

But so much blood. 

Los Angeles

We met there for the first time.

I have never ran into someone’s arms

As quickly as I had into yours. 

I was stranger to myself in that moment.

Who was I now? 

What was I doing? 

But…

your eyes are obsidian black fire 

Dark, haunting and taking me in 

Starved.

A wolf that hasn’t eaten in days 

Bones protruding 

I could see it all in those eyes.

So devour me.

All of me.

I’m scared but willing. 

First kiss was in a bar named “Escondido”

Late at night downtown 

My face was burning 

My heartbeat pounding in my ears 

Blood rushing to my cheeks

A natural blush 

cherries and merlot. 

Hands on my waist 

Pull me into you

Pull me into this unknown.

I want to know all of you 

How many strands of silver are in your hair? 

What makes you want to wake up everyday?

What was growing up in Mexico City like? 

How did you learn to play guitar like what? 

What are these burns on your hands?

Tell me every story you know 

What makes you laugh until you tear up?

Tell me every horrible thing that happened to you

So I can hold your face in my hands

And tell you how rare you are. 

How imperfectly perfect you are.

Forehead against mine 

I want to be closer

But how? 

Fast forward one year 

In that time I had gone dark on you 

So you when dark on me.

It’s only fair 

But somehow 

This was still an injustice.

I ran from you 

I allowed myself to carry the weight 

Given to me by someone else

That should never had me.

A someone that plunged a knife into my back.

I took it out of me 

And plunged right into your chest.

Biggest regret of my life

Because you would never

You could never. 

I believe this like a faith 

My religion.

I can never not run back to you. 

My body will know what to do.

The head and the heart always knew. 

I need to be on the floor 

With you a few feet away 

Strumming out your soul

Until I fall asleep

Until you wake me with your lips.

I’m melting beneath you

Like strawberry ice cream on 97 degree day

No one is safe. 

Steal me away with you to Tijuana 

Drink a little bit of much  

Show me the city lights when it gets dark

Show me that I can love again

Show me that I can be loved 

Genuinely and without fail

Make me your queen 

Make me know peace.

But I already know this is my peace.

You are my peace.

No one can touch me 

Unless it’s you.